May this dance last forever...

Material Biography

Material profanity count: 1,143
Material "fuck" count: 404
Material PORNOGRAPHY count: 2
Material Photoshop count: 3

Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...

  • Sometimes the simplest is the bestest.
  • Where I am, nearly a month later...
  • In loving and eternal memory of Ingrid Fullington:...
  • The Price Is Right: September 4, 1972-July 17, 200...
  • Only another year older?
  • Oh boy.
  • Somehow, someway, I'm still here
  • Yes, I'm still alive
  • Another one in the books...
  • Out with the old, in with the new.. Or something.


  • Archives, For I Must Live Up To My Name

    August 2004
    September 2004
    October 2004
    November 2004
    December 2004
    January 2005
    February 2005
    May 2005
    June 2005
    July 2005
    August 2005
    September 2005
    October 2005
    November 2005
    December 2005
    January 2006
    February 2006
    March 2006
    April 2006
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    December 2006
    January 2007
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    May 2007
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    August 2007
    September 2007
    October 2007
    November 2007
    December 2007
    February 2008
    March 2008
    April 2008
    May 2008
    July 2008
    August 2008
    September 2008
    November 2008

    In love and honor of my Beautiful Goddess

    Ingrid's page on tributes.com

    American Cancer Society

    Hepatitis C Outreach Project

    Gonna Dress You Up In My Links... All Over, All Over...

    Hung Up

    Crazy For You

    Angel

    What It Feels Like For A Girl

    Open Your Heart

    Justify My Love

    Lucky Star

    Hey You

    Erotica

    Beautiful Stranger

    Into The Groove

    Vogue

    I Love New York

    Like A Virgin

    Dress You Up

    Jump

    Waiting

    You'll See

    American Life

    Who's That Girl?

    Music

    Secret Garden

    Ray Of Light

    White Heat

    Words

    I'm So Stupid

    Other Materialistic Blogs

    Where's The Party

    God only knows what I'll be without you...

    In loving and eternal memory of Ingrid Fullington. I'll love you always and forever, my Beautiful Goddess.

    Wednesday, September 29, 2004
     
    Reinvention
    Eight days ago, I finally packed up and moved from my own private hell after six years, nine months and sixteen days. It felt like a one ton gorilla was lifted from my shoulders when we finally pulled out of the parking lot at 11:10am, ending a situation that was bad from day one and did nothing but get worse the whole time.

    I've slowly been getting settled in here, getting some things I need, and getting everything situated the way I'd like it. So far, this place has been everything my old one wasn't: Peaceful, quiet, safe, and comfortable.

    The worthless-yet-nosy manager of my former complex also told me last Monday that an apartment and a car were broken into over the weekend. What a lovely place to live. I'm glad I got out of there when I did. Funny how those idiots don't add one and one together, and realize that is the kind of shit that happens when you let homeless felons have free run of the place.

    Fortunately, that nightmare is in the past. It's over. I'll never see that dump again.

    It's nice to finally be free.

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    Sunday, September 19, 2004
     
    The Power Of Goodbye
    I'm down to about my last 24 hours in this hellhole, this place that has been home for nearly seven years, and for the last three has made 1428 Elm Street seem bright, cheery and safe.

    About 3/4 of my stuff is packed. The only things left are my computer, my clothes and my food. They'll be taken care of tonight or early tomorrow morning.

    Right now, my emotions are a cross between relief, euphoria and nervousness. Relief that the end of the tunnel is finally near. Euphoria because after tomorrow I'll never see this place again. And yet a bit nervous, hoping this place doesn't find a way to give me one last "fuck you" before I leave. It's given me plenty over the last seven years. Too bad I couldn't find someone to buy them...

    After tomorrow, there is so much shit I won't have to deal with again:

    The all-night parties out in the middle of the complex.

    Homeless hillbillies with felony records who's lives seem to revolve around who they can "kick the shit out of" and how many chemicals they can pump into their Kentucky Fried Bloodstreams - and seem to have more rights around here than rent-paying tenants.

    Seventy four year old jerks who go out of their way to see how hard they can slam their van door (of course, failing to understand it's that same slamming that required them to replace the sliding door in the first place, which is why the dumb fucker has a blue van with a brown sliding door. Classy.), and does nothing but sit around all day, drink beer and give people shit. I guess he's proof that bad parenting existed back in the 1930's too.

    A manager who is nothing more than a glorified pimp.

    Water dripping into my bathroom through my ceiling.

    No air conditioning in the summer.

    This god-awful city.

    And you know what? I won't miss one fucking bit of it.

    At some point tomorrow the phone, DSL and DirecTV will be turned off here. The phone will go on in the new place the same day, the DSL on Wednesday. I won't be able to get DirecTV in the new place, but it already has cable, so no big deal. And, obviously, I won't be online for a couple days.

    Fortunately, that means no harm, no foul for being unable to update the KenJen blog during my downtime, since Jeopardy! is going to be having their Tournament Of Champions for the next two weeks. Kenardy! will be back October 4.

    While I'm bringing up amazing accomplishments, I'd like to bring up a not-so-amazing accomplishment, as Barriod Bonds (AKA BALCO Bonds) hit his 700th career home run on Friday. Big fucking deal. I'm real proud, Barry. It takes a real man to load up on steroids and performance enhancers to make history in sports. That's why the world loves Ben Johnson, right?

    I've never cared for Bonds and his attitude. The guy is about as likable as a cobra. But I at least gave him credit for what he accomplished prior to late 90's. After that? Forget it. He cheated his way to 73 home runs in a season, and cheated his way to his 500th, 600th and now 700th career home runs. On his way to the top he's shit all over the likes of Ted Williams, Ernie Banks, Reggie Jackson and Harmon Killebrew. He shat all over his own godfather when he hit 660. And now he's closing in on shitting all over Babe Ruth and Hank Aaron. And, I've already decided if he ever passed Aaron, powered by THG and human growth hormone and his raging ego, I'd NEVER watch professional baseball again. Aaron was a true legend and a hero. Bonds is a true cheater and a zero.

    What doesn't help is the blatantly hypocritical stance of sports fans and the media. Mark McGwire "cheated" because of Andros (As an EX-McGwire fan, let me say he did far more than Andros, he is a cheater, and has no business in the Hall Of Fame). Sosa is a cheater because of the corked bat. But Bonds is some sort of magical hero, our new jordon - this generation's Teflon athlete. People accused of hating Bonds are - join in, you all know the terms: "Playa haters", "racist" and "not true fans" (you know, the same shit people hear for not being jordon fans or refusing to call him the "best ever"). It's about as pathetic as the argument on the Ravens Suck forum, when a Rats' fan took the stance of "I believe Ray Lewis is not a murderer because he plays for the Ravens".

    I've had to hear over and over from a Giants fan about how "We're watching history" and "This is an amazing accomplishment". Fuck that shit. Does that mean I should admire Ben Johnson's "amazing accomplishment"? How about Gaylord Perry's? There's nothing amazing about cheating. Because you know what the fuck cheating and breaking the rules accomplishes? It taints records in sports, gives unfair advantages, and in real life, it results in a government filled with crooks, corporations that fuck employees and consumers so the fat cats at the top can rake in even more money, and shit like the place I lived in for seven rotten years. That's a good thing?

    So, forgive me if instead of applauding Bonds, I flip him the bird and spit in his general direction. There's nothing heroic about 700. There won't be a fucking heroic thing about 715 or 756 either. And you can bet your ass that the biased Giants fans sure wouldn't be cheering on Bonds if he was a fucking Yankee or something. Because this would be like me disliking Shania Twain for being a sellout, but saying "Well, it's okay, because she's Sherrie" if Sherrie Austin did the same. This would be like if I were a registered Democrat, and accepting and tolerating Kerry's flaws and dishonesty while criticizing Bush for the exact same flaws and lies. If there is one thing that might irritate me more in today's society than people who refuse to accept responsiblity for their own actions (you know, like suing fast food companies because of what you chose to eat), it's hypocracy. And it's only taken a very unenjoyable frenzy (Bonds and his 'roided up home runs and ego) and made it even worse.

    So, I'd like to give Barroid Bonds the Flying Middle Finger Of Fate award for hitting his 700th career home run. Because, honestly, the only baseball players less likable than you in HISTORY would have to be Ty Cobb and Cap Anson. Say what you want about Pete Rose, but at least HE didn't taint 4,192 by BETTING on it. And, I just want to see this guy's career end. Get cold feet and retire before 755. Get banned for steroids. I don't care.

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    Wednesday, September 15, 2004
     
    This Used To Be My Playground (C'mon, you all know the words!)
    This used to be my playground
    This used to be a frightening dream
    This used to be the place I ran from
    Where none of these wretched fiends
    Are my friend
    It's coming to an end
    And I will no longer stay

    Don't look back
    Now my head's held high
    It's time to fly
    Because life is short
    And as you know
    I'm feeling old
    And my heart was breaking
    Good riddance to the past
    They all can kiss my ass

    This used to be my playground
    This used to be a frightening dream
    This used to be the place I ran from
    Where none of these wretched fiends
    Are my friend
    It's coming to an end
    And I will no longer stay

    Live and learn
    Well the years they flew
    And I never knew
    I was foolish then
    In this awful mire
    I began to tire
    You're finally rid of me
    I'm going to go away
    Can say goodbye to yesterday (can say goodbye)

    This used to be my playground
    This used to be a frightening dream
    This used to be the place I ran from
    Where none of these wretched fiends
    Are my friend
    It's coming to an end
    And I will no longer stay

    All regrets
    But I'm rid of you
    You're not near me
    Well then there's hope yet
    I can see your face
    In my former place
    You're just a bad memory
    Say goodbye to yesterday (bad dream)
    Those are words I'm thrilled to say (I'm going away)

    This used to be my playground
    This used to be a frightening dream
    This used to be the place I ran from
    And I would pay to watch it be destroyed

    This used to be our playground (used to be)
    This used to be a frightening dream
    This used to be the place I ran from
    I'm rid of you and now I'm free

    This used to be our playground (used to be)
    This used to make me a basket case
    This used to be the place I ran from
    This used to be my wretched living space

    This used to be our playground (used to be)
    This used to be a frightening dream
    This used to be the place we ran free
    The best thing is I'm finally free
    Soon you won't be here with me

    (Or, to put it another way: I'm moving in five days!)

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    Friday, September 10, 2004
     
    Something To Remember
    Happy 75th Birthday to the man responsible for one of my strongest addictions (no, not smoking or kinky boots). On this day in 1929, Arnold Daniel Palmer, one of the greatest and most exciting golfers of all time was born. It is because of him I grew up to be so devoted to the game of golf - which could be good or bad, depending on your view of golf.

    And, no, I've never tried playing in a pair of my boots. Though, it would bring new meaning to wearing spikes out on the course...

    In his honor - and to celebrate a bit of television history - I am drinking an Arnold Palmer, one of my favorite beverages.

    Congratulations - again - to Ken Jennings, who in tonight's AIRED episode tied Tic Tac Dough champion Thom McKee's record of 43 wins in a game show.

    In not-so-light news, I still have heard nothing from the parole office. Furthermore, to the surpise of no one who is familiar with my apartment, my bathroom continues to get worse. I am in the process of working on an "escape plan" - it's definitely time to abandon ship before it gets too late.

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    Wednesday, September 08, 2004
     
    Over And Over
    The beaurocracy has already begun. Why am I surprised? After all, the beaurocratic mentality is the only constant in the universe.

    After leaving five messages to Mr. Laker, I finally get a call back at about 4:25pm. First he sits on the phone, confused over who Mr. Jones is, then tells me "I believe he was only sentenced to a year" when the prosecutor (Jim McGee) told me last year it was TWO, and then tells me "You know, I'm no longer his parole officer"...

    Well, NICE OF YOU TO TELL ME IN ADVANCE! Being one of the damned victims in this case, you'd think they would've kept me abreast on this so I could stay in touch with his CURRENT P.O.!

    The new P.O. is Ms. Butler. I left her a message, but considering that I wasn't able to leave the message until 4:30pm (because they didn't bother to tell me a damned thing), I don't know if I like my chances to hear back by 5pm. I did mark the voice message as urgent, so hopefully she gets it and gets on the phone ASAP.

    UPDATE 5:10pm: What a shock. Didn't hear back from Ms. Butler. I left a second message, asking her to call me ASAP tomorrow morning. Ugh.

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    Laugh To Keep From Crying
    That, of course, was supposed to be the purpose of this blog. Tonight, I'm not laughing. In fact, I'm watching my life fall apart and wondering if I'll be alive much longer - and even wondering if maybe I should die and get it over with.

    I posted the following to Strange Forums today. I think it pretty much sums things up.

    I am in a serious situation, and my life is in danger, and in the event something happened to me, I wanted everyone to know. Maybe because some of you out there would miss me, maybe even be angry enough to make yourselves heard to the district attorney and parole office, for they will be responsible for my death.

    On May 30, 2003, as many of you know, my friend Michael was assaulted while visiting here by one Mr. Jones - AKA "JJ", a career felon with a mile-long rap sheet of assaults, robberies, auto thefts, and drug dealing. He is your typical hardened criminal - arrogant, immoral, angry, and beyond hope. The majority of his adult life has consisted of being arrested, serving time, and coming out convinced he's going to "kick the shitt out of whoever dropped the dime on me". In his warped mind, he believes he has done no wrong. Everything is the fault of society, of the person who called the police, of his victims.

    Forty five minutes after assaulted Michael (and the first call to 911), Mr. Jones returned, pounding and kicking at my door, and threatening me. Two of the exact quotes were "If you ever write a twelve page letter complaining about me, you'll have twelve inches of my dick up your ass" and threatened my life. A second call was placed to 911, and a few moments later the police arrived. Mr. Jones was arrested, charged with violating parole, drunk in public, assault, and making terrorist threats.

    On June 16, 2003, Mr. Jones threw himself at the mercy of the court during the first pretrial hearing, and requested immediate sentancing. He was sentenced to two years.

    Shortly after that, Mr. Jones' parole officer, a Mr. Laker contacted me, stating that Jones was sentenced to the Men's Correctional Facility in Chino, CA, and would have to face a parole board before being released, at which time myself and Michael were asked if we would be willing to testify. The answer was a resounding YES, at which time Mr. Laker took both of our addresses and my home phone number.

    Mr. Laker also added that it would be added to Mr. Jones' parole agreement that he was to stay 100 yards away from myself and Michael at all times, and coming within 100 yards would be an immediate parole violation and a return to jail.

    During this time, I heard nothing. Not from the DA, not from Mr. Laker, not from the police or sheriffs.

    Today, I go to pay my rent in this falling apart piece of shit, and have the following exchange with the manager:

    Don: I just sent my step-son to a Christian school. He needed to shape up. He was doing speed with JJ?
    Me: He was doing what with WHAATT?!!?!?
    Don: Speed with JJ.
    Me: You mean in the past, or recently?
    Don: Recently. He's been back for awhile now. He was staying with Maynard in #17. You know, H.K.?
    Me: What the fuck is he doing here?! Not only was he supposed to be in for two years, but he has an order on his parole agreement to stay 100 yards away from me!
    Don: I don't know, just that he's been in and out of here.

    Obviously, not only did Mr. Jones come nowhere near serving his two year sentence, but I was never notified nor brought in to testify at his parole hearing - if he even had one.

    I am not lying when I say this man could kill me. And he's not only free, he's back here.

    Both the manager, and the previous and current owners and the current owners were notified of Mr. Jones' history, including and especially 5/30/03, and the fact he is under orders from the parole office to stay 100 yards from me. Once again, a blind eye was turned.

    Worse yet, this time around, is the fact Mr. Jones has absolutely no reason to be here. Not only because of what took place last May, but the fact his father is no longer a tenant here. He moved shortly after his son's arrested last May.

    This is why it was such an urgent reason to move. And now I may be out of time. It might be too late for me.

    To make matters worse, I recently applied to move into an apartment in Grand Terrace, CA. I was turned down. Someone at the office screwed up, and sent the letter explaining why I was turned down and my deposit to the wrong apartment - it was sent to apartment #17 instead of #7.

    Who lives in apartment #17? H.K., the man who has committed a crime and contributed to the threat upon my life by allowing Mr. Jones to reside with him.

    And if he didn't know my legal name before, he sure does now.

    If anyone has any suggestions, feel free to share them. If anyone hates my guts, well. At least wait until I'm dead to celebrate.

    And to update something that wasn't in my original post:

    I was talking to my friend Eric tonight, notifying him of the situation. His advice was to get my bat (my 36 inch, 44 ounce metal baseball bat) ready. I responded by saying "I just hope he doesn't have a gun", at which time it occured to me that he DOES have access to a gun - H.K. OWNS ONE!

    I might be fucked. We're trying to work out something to get me out of here ASAP, but it might be too late. The plan was to get out before Mr. Jones was released, and that was supposed to be at least another nine months away.

    Why is it that the legal system fucks everyone but the criminals? And what did I ever do to deserve this?

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    Tuesday, September 07, 2004
     
    Beer, GOOD!
    I know I've really made it when... I've had ale named after me.



    MADONNA has had a beer named after her.

    The honour was bestowed by brewers JW Lees, who have knocked up a batch of Material Girl Ale.

    The Manchester firm decided to commemorate her visit to the city and made a crateful for the first night of her Re-invention tour.

    Bottles are labelled with a similar design to the Madonna's Immaculate Collection greatest hits album.

    The commemorative dark, fruity ale packs a big punch with a 7.5 per cent alcohol content.


    Anyone out there want to ship some of MY ale to me?

    Also, I've added new links, and my favorite photographer, Daria, has added me to her links. Thank you.

    Remember, everyone: Link early, link often. :P

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    Monday, September 06, 2004
     
    Who's That Girl?
    Here's my friend Daria sitting next to me on a couch. I can't seem to remember this photo, or why I looked so unhappy...




    Here's Daria's parents playing with my tassels. Ho hum. Another day, another person with their hands near my breasts. You'd think people would be used to them by now...



    Well, actually... These pictures were taken today at Madame Tussaud's, and Daria posted them in her photo album and shared them with me. Thanks for the laugh, I needed it.

    And, you know, one of these days I need to get a picture taken of me next to the wax statue in the second photo. Then I could post it and say "Be afraid! There's two of us now!". Or could pose with my hands over the statue's breasts: "Look, I'm fondling myself!"

    Of course, there could never be three of us, since she's Esther now. :P

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    We are living in a material world...
    My favorite smart guy with money, Ken Jennings, will return to television today as the new season of Jeopardy! premieres. And he's just five wins away from tying Thom McKee for the most wins in game show history.

    Next Monday, the reality show starring everyone's favorite outspoken NBA owner with lots of money, Mark Cuban, debuts on ABC. I'm not a reality show fan, but I love Cuban, and this looks like it could be interesting.

    What does this mean? It means this fall, there may be two things on TV worth watching - which is two more than usual.

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    This Materialistic Blog was designed by Rob T. Credit for all the non-Madonna layout images and a design idea or two :) goes to the wonderful free-layout site Magitek Designs. Feel free to link to Madonna's blog! She likes attention, yes.

    DISCLAIMER: I am not really Madonna. This is all meant in good, clean, campy fun. If Madonna can reinvent herself as "Esther", then why the fuck can't I reinvent myself as Madonna!