We all saw the number that Bob did on that smart aleck Happy Gilmore a decade ago. Well, now that he is retired from television, he could keep himself busy by becoming a professional ass-kicker...

I've been thinking about this for a couple months, since I attended my last taping, with the Ron Mexico scandal developing. I was tempted to raise my hand and ask him if he was tempted to pull a Happy Gilmore on Ron Mexico. I wish I would've...

But, since then, I started thinking about other people he could give the Happy routine too...

To George W. Bush: "I can't believe you're the president, I think you should be working over at the snack bar. There is no way you could've been as bad at running a baseball team as you are at running the country!"

To Bud $elig: "I can't believe you're the commisioner of baseball, I think you should be working over at the snack bar. There is no way you could've been as bad at selling used cars as you are at running baseball!"

To Britney Spears: "I can't believe a professional singer, I think you should be working on the street corner! There is no way you could've been as bad at whoring yourself out as you are at singing!"

Seriously, Bob. Forget about the tequilia. Forget about bodybuilding and running for governor. You can just be a professional ass-kicker and make the world a better place!

The price is right, bitch!

Listening to: "Come On Down" by Crystal Waters, the theme to "The Price Is Right"

Labels: Barker Worship, Blogathon 2007, Bushwhacking, Sinead O'Britney