That saying was heard over and over this morning, on a day that will be a red-letter date in the history of broadcast radio, as Howard Stern - indeed, the last of a dying breed - closed out his final terrestrial broadcast.
Love him or hate him, Stern indeed was a true pioneer, as Ed Bradley - yes, Ed Bradley! - said on a recent 60 Minutes. While it is easy to define Stern as fart jokes, strippers and toilet humor, there truly was more to him - and his show - than that over the last twenty-plus years.
Sure, it is hard to think of Stern as a pioneer, or indeed as the "last of a dying breed". And, sure, it's easy to listen to Stern's final speech over terrestrial radio and immediately get the impression it was nothing more than Stern promoting and glorying himself - which, to a degree it was. Stern has probably done more to shamelessly promote himself than anyone in history who isn't from Michigan and has the last name Ciccone. After all, that is a big part of who and what Howard Stern always has been.
But, none of this changes the fact he is right. He is the last of a dying breed. The last outspoken, noncomformist radical on the airwaves, the last person willing to stand up and say "Fuck you!" when the FCC has tried to put him in his place. He isn't the first rebel on the radio, he probably isn't the greatest, but he's certainly the last...
Terrestrial radio has been dying for years. Sure, it's easy to watch Howard Stern jump ship and think "You killed radio! You bastard!". However, what he's done is basically perform a mercy killing on a dying life form, one that has been fading for some time now...
It's easy to put the blame on the death of traditional radio on the FCC's war on indecency, but it goes back even further than that. The damage, however, was truly done in 1996, when the government - lead by that noted "liberal" Bill Clinton - deregulated the entire industry. The result of this blatant act of Corporate Corporate Uber Alles was the birth of two major media empires - Clear Channel Communications (ran by right-wing lunatic and longtime Bush pal Tom Hicks) and Infinity Broadcasting (owned by Viacom).
These two megaconglomorates now own roughly 35% of all radio stations in America - and lord knows what percentage of the major stations. Their growing monopoly has not only sterilized the airwaves of personality, but has obliterated competition.
One glaring example of the lack of competition are two stations in the Los Angeles market: KOST FM (adult contemporary and soft pop) and KBIG (currently "updeat hits", however they too used to be adult contemporary and soft pop until last year). KOST and KBIG used to slam each other all the times in commercials - the most noted commercial being a KBIG commercial that called KOST "sleepy elevator music" that plays "nonstop Barry Manilow", which got KBIG SUED by Barry Manilow's record company for "slander".
Clear Channel, which already owned KOST, bought out KBIG a few years ago. As a result, the only game in town for adult contemporary was.... Clear Channel. And now, seeing no need to waste their time competing with themselves, they changed KBIG's format, leaving just one adult contemporary station in the market.
The Los Angeles area market is a joke, dominated by country, hip hop, talk and Mexican speaking stations.
You want dance music? You have two choices: KIIS FM (primarily current dance music) and KBIG (some current dance/pop mixed in with 70's-90's). Who owns both stations? Yep, Clear Channel Communications...
Classic rock? KLOS, unless you'd like slightly softer oldies, then you have KOLA...
Current rock? KCAL.
Alternative? KROQ.
What this boils down to, of course, is a complete lack of choice in most genres. The lack of stations when it comes many genres not only means only having one place in town to go to listen to your music, but being completely stuck with the chosen playlists of Clear Channel and/or Infinity. No variety, no change, just the same dumbass songs played over and over again... Want to listen to a different song? Get lost, because most of these stations don't bother with requests either - unless you call into KIIS and request Kelly Clarkson so they can play her 38 times that day instead of 37...
The days of surprising listeners by changing up the playlist, or even playing something way out in left field? GONE.
Back in 1989, KFRG was an up and coming local country station (now owned by Infinity Broadcasting, by the way). The morning host decided to throw everyone for a loop one day by playing... "Lost In Your Eyes" by Debbie Gibson, which is of course less country than Metallica is now. He just felt like playing the song, but was expected to get his ears chewed off by listeners. Instead, he was pleasantly surprised to hear from so many listeners who liked the song, and played it 3-4 times a week for the next month.
Would that happen today? Hell no. You pop in a song that isn't in the corporate-approved, bought and rigged by Payola playlist, you'll be suspended or fired.
Of course, we also have a situation where Clear Channel alone has so much power they can literally decide who is successful and who is not. The Dixie Chicks have been destroyed (and Toby Keith built up into some awe-inspiring saint) solely because Clear Channel did not respect, agree with nor tolerate the political viewpoints and statements of Natalie Maines. Nevermind their sales figures, nevermind their popularity, nevermind their previous success. Clear Channel single-handedly ended the Dixie Chicks becuase Maines criticized Hicks' buddy Bush.
How bad is it? In summer of 2003, the Clear Channel played the Dixie Chicks less than
Sherrie Austin, a woman with one top 20 hit EVER. Most of their listeners didn't even know who she was (and as mentioned earlier this year, she may not even have a career any longer). But did that matter? No. All that mattered was Natalie Maines expressed a viewpoint that didn't confirm to the corporate tyrants of Clear Channel.
(And, yes, I do think this also played a factor in the lack of airplay for "American Life", and the "Madonna is dead!" chants that could be heard until last month, which were silenced by "Hung Up".)
That, of course, applies to the stations that still have DJ's...
I don't know about anyone out there reading this, but our local market was infested by one of the dumbest ideas in radio history this year. It's called Jack FM. Basically, take an iPod or computer with Winamp, hook it up to the station, hit random play... No DJ's, no personality, no theme, just a 24/7 clusterfuck of music that has no flow to it. One minute, you may hear "Where The Streets Have No Name" by U2, the next you'll find yourself listening to "Hit Me Baby One More Time" by Britney fucking Spears.. Say what?!
Jack FM killed off Arrow 93, a great classic rock station that offered a great variety (shocking in this day and age!), great DJ's who knew when to talk and when to shut up (often saying insightful tidbits about a song or band instead of a lame-ass joke), and told listeners every song they played (even offering sound clips on their website for everything played in the last 24 hours, broken down by hour) so if you heard a song you liked, you knew what album to go buy to get it...
Goodbye Arrow. Everything was business as usual on St. Patrick's Day - the traditional four hours of U2. Then the next day, no warning whatsoever, people were turning on their stereos and thinking their stereo broke overnight. Why? Because instead of hearing Led Zeppelin, they were hearing ME, or Britney, or Creed. Jackass FM has entered the room - unfortunately...
I don't so much mind the eccentric mix of music, but the lack of personality, the lack of DJ's, and their arrogant slogan (We play what we want!) burns my ass. If I wanted to listen to a wild mix of music, I can load up Winamp...
Maybe I'm spoiled.. I mean, I grew up listening to San Diego's Mighty 690 (which became XTRA Sports 690, and now I think is a classical station or some shit like that). This was back when you could pick up an AM station broadcasting from San Diego clearly in Riverside, and back before the corporations took over. Sure, the station was primarily top 40 rock/pop, but the DJ's would stray when they felt like it (back when you could get away with it)...
Those days, of course, are gone. And that, boys and girls, is why terrestrial radio is dying.
Back to Howard, who of course is the point of all of this...
Howard's big themes of his final speech were to thank the listeners who made him (that was classy), to give Clear Channel, the Religious Right and the FCC the finger, and to deliver loudly and clearly that he is the last of a dying breed (again: yes, self-promoting, but that is Howard for you..).
There is no doubt Howard is angry and bitter after battling the FCC and Religious Right, and who can blame him? In South Park: Bigger, Longer And Uncut, Stan said (in response to the war against Canada and pending execution of Terrance and Phillip) "This isn't about fart jokes. This is about freedom of speech!". Those words apply here...
What Howard Stern has done over the years hasn't just been about fart jokes, lesbian strippers, insulting people and spanking pornstars' bare asses. It's been about freedom of speech, about expressing himself without persecution or harassment. In many ways, it's no different than Madonna exposing her breasts so much that kids in Bangladesh can identify her boobs - sure, it was done with the intention of benefitting their own careers, but it was also done to make a statement: "This is what I want to do. This is supposed to be America. If you don't like it, go away and leave me alone!".
I, honestly, don't find many things about Stern's shown to be funny. His brand of humor often does not appeal to me. But I've always defending his right to do his show as he pleases. Don't like Howard Stern? Fine. Go listen to Mark and Brian. Or Rick Dees. Or Rush Limbaugh. Or Dr. Bitch - excuse me, I mean Laura. Or whatever. Nobody is making you listen to Howard Stern. I don't care much for Stern, but I'm not trying to get him kicked off the air... I just choose to entertain myself elsewhere.
Just as "suicide is painless", and you can take or leave it if you please, the same goes for Howard Stern - you can take or leave him if you please...
Ditto Esther Madge.
I have always had a great deal of respect for Howard Stern, for having the guts to stand up and fight for freedom of expression. Yes, a great deal of Howard's fight is with Howard Stern in mind, but there is no denying that any battles won by Howard benefit everyone else as well.
The FCC is out of control. They have been for some time, but it reached a whole new low after Janet's Boobiegate. We've gone from a period where the FCC's primary concerns were keeping nudity and the Seven Magic Words off network TV and radio to now trying to dictate and clean up so-called "immoral" conduct.
Of course, making it worse is the hypocritical manner in which they go about this... For instance, Howard Stern gets fined for discussing oral sex in code words and double entendre. However, what about someone discussing sex in blatant terms on Oprah? Nope, no fine there. Or Cheney telling Patrick Leahy to "go fuck himself" live on C-SPAN? Again, no fine there...
I also don't think it's a coincidence that the FCC really cracked down on Stern when he changed his tune on the war in Iraq. During the time he gave Bush the benefit of the doubt, you didn't hear shit about the FCC targeting Stern... But the second he began to question whether the war was just, and Bush's motives? Boom! The FCC was all over his ass like stockbrokers would be if you stood on a street corner passing out $100 bills.
Coincidence? I don't think so!
Fueling this war on indecency, of course (a rose by other name still smells just as sweet, and censorship by any other name still sucks ass) is the Religious Right - the "American Taliban" as Stern called them this morning...
(Standard disclaimer: By criticizing the Religious Right, I do NOT criticize nor attack Christians or people of any other beliefs as a whole. Just as the Taliban are a group of religious zealots and do not speak for all Muslims, the Religious Right does not speak for all Christians. They are a radical fringe benefit, and my criticism is leveled solely at these radicals, and is not intended to be a blanket attack on people because of their chosen religion.) I can picture many pepople cringing at Stern's choice of words, or immediately labelling him a "traitor", "un-American" or many other ugly names. However, he is right...
I mean, think about it. There are radical Muslims (and, yes, some of them are part of the Taliban) who want to force people to follow their extremist, conformist beliefs. Some of them attempt to force change with blatant acts of terrorism - blowing up buildings, killing people, you name it.
How is that any different that the leadership of the Religious Right, who are trying to force Americans to follow their beliefs, who are trying to destroy the First Amendment, and who themselves resort to terrorism to try to force their agenda (the car bomb that nearly killed Judi Barri and Derryl Cherney, blowing up abortion clinics)?
Just because one side trying to enforce their radical beliefs with tyrany and violence is American, and the other is Arab, doesn't make one right and one wrong. They're both wrong. The Religious Right IS the American Taliban, and if the powers that be within their movement don't like that criticism, my advice is for them to change their ways...
My only regret about his farewell speech? I wish he would've come right and said "Fuck the FCC!" before signing off. I had been hoping he would sign off that way ever since the deal with Sirius was announced last year.
Howard Stern is exactly right by referring to himself as the last of a dying breed: The last voice on terrestrial radio with a mind of his own, willing to fight for what he believes in, and not functioning as a pawn for some corporation's agenda...
Now, he is gone.
On one hand, I am disappointed that he has moved beyond terrestrial radio, no longer keeping his fight within the system. On the other hand, maybe he may have put the nail in the coffin of the system...
Stern's move to eh-eh-eh (okay, I'll say it for you, Howard.. SIRIUS SATELLITE RADIO!) has just given instant credibility to Sirius specifically, and satellite radio as a whole. They have just landed the biggest name in radio at a hefty price, and overnight this will change Sirius' image from a fringe element to a big player - maybe the BIGGEST player.
What this does is opens the door not only for more listeners to follow Howard to Sirius, but for other outspoken nonconformists to perhaps take their show on the road as well. Could it be long before Air America Radio moves to satellite as well? Don Imus? Phil Hendrie?
Perhaps Howard Stern really has figured it out. Maybe he saw that the one true way to beat Clear Channel and the FCC was to empty out the house, leaving them with a crumbling, rotted out old building, a dying and soon to be condemned relic.
Perhaps, instead of trying to stage a stand-off with the FCC from inside that rotting old house, he knows the solution is to march outside, jump into the SWAT vehicle and ram that building to the ground himself, leaving Clear Channel with nothing...
We shall see. But, today, the playing field shifted. Howard Stern has struck a serious blow, and here's hoping it's the first in a series that brings Clear Channel and the "war on indecency" crashing down.
Best of luck to you Howard, the last of a dying breed...
Labels: Fuck You Very Much The FCC, Religious Right Ain't Right
